Why Are Working Mothers & Stay At Home Mothers On Opposing Teams?

I recently contributed to a discussion titled “Working Moms vs Stay at Home Moms.”It apparently wasn’t suppose be bashing the role of SAHM but the vibe I got from the postee and her comments, it certainly seemed to be the case.  To be honest I  think she was just trying to validate her position of being a working mother and make herself feel better about her position.  I am by no means trying to point fingers and play the blame game.  That simply isn’t my style.  This subject really touched home and I felt the need to discuss it.Everyone is entitled to their own feelings and opinions.  With that being said, let’s face it ladies. There are opposing teams and a lot of judgement when it comes to this topic. I just don’t understand this at all.  Unfortunately, women will be women and many times that comes with jealousy, envy, cattiness, and a whole lot of judgement of each other. I would really love to see more women supporting each other regardless of the role they play.

Working outside the home, being a stay at home mother, or working from home all have their pros and cons. I can say this with confidence because I have done all of them. Our job as mothers does change and can become more challenging with each additional child. We all have both similar and different challenges depending upon our own particular circumstance.  Every mother and child is different.  Certain mothers can handle more and some can handle less before reaching their breaking point. You can’t just put a label on someone and say they do or don’t have it easy.  It simply isn’t fair.

I read through all the comments to the initial discussion post. Even though people said they weren’t posing judgements they most certainly were.  I myself tend to hear more judgement of the role of SAHM.  But I know it definitely goes both ways.  I just don’t get it.   “Why is it such a debate?” and “Why does the role you play matter so much to other mothers?”  We all have ONE very similar goal and that is to be the best mothers we can be.

I know first hand staying home is no easy task.  For those of you who say it so easy and you get bored, BLESS YOU!!! I am a mom to four boys under 7 and there is never a day that goes by that I am remotely bored.  Now that I also work from home, time management can be even more challenging.  In the past I worked (both full and part time) and I still had challenges.  They were just different. I never looked down upon SAHM’s, nor did I think it was easy to do.

It is a choice. Your choice!  And women need to be happy with their decisions and stop judging others.  Neither position is easy or without some type of sacrifice. You just do the very best you can, regardless of the role you play.

 The choice is more of whether you can be happy and secure within yourself and your specific situation. Not every mother has the actual choice to stay home or work outside the home.

Why is it such a debate?
Why does the role you play matter so much?
What are your thoughts?


  1. Jason says:

    I was searching around to find out answers to this exact question. I am recently a SAHD and have been home for the past 5 months. 3 of which was with my wife at the same time. I recently started a blog on blogger about being a SAHD. I gave my personal opinion of my situation and reasons for staying home and I was immediately attacked by an anonymous poster regarding my views of the subject. I took it as a sign that I honestly believe that SAHM’s feel the need to rebut every possible view that someone has of them. This in turn comes off as catty like you mentioned above. I clearly stated that although I am trying to figure out what is best this is my view thus far. That is all. It seems that SAHM’s can’t handle the opposing view of working moms and vice versa. Either way its a very interesting topic needless to say. Check out my blog at http://www.daddydose.blogspot.com. I think the post was labeled “Is this the right choice” Take care and I’m looking forward to following you.

  2. Jason says:

    I forgot to mention that I was pretty sarcastic in my writings so of course I’m sure that played a role in responses.


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